The Denial
by Nana Weiss
Summary: -ORIGINAL AND COMPLEX STORYLINE- The first of a long AU series set in fictional New Bella, this focuses first on the 'denial' of Bankotsu and Jakotsu's feelings for each other AND the way a mutual childhood tragedy affected them. BanxJak, read and reply!
1. Repression

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **1

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language).

**Disclaimer: **None of these characters belong to me. Some might not recognize Moegi or Kyora, however they were both featured in the fourth Inuyasha movie and are by no means my OCs. I don't plan to use OCs for many purposes in this fiction as this series has a huge amount of characters all on its own… I also do not own any brands or manga mentioned throughout this fanfiction. If I owned any of them, I would be rich. Right now I'd probably be rolling naked on a bed of money…

**Author's Note: **First of all, I have COMPLETELY revamped this story. I've added a chapter here, added more detail there…it might not seem it but it's a whole new piece of amazing. XD IN ADDITION…

Because too many people probably [admittedly, I do this too sometimes, don't deny it] go to every M-rated story looking for what is essentially a PWP, I've decided to capitalize the title to any chapter with sexual content. This could range from very intense making out to full-out kinky sex, depending on the circumstances…it's not that this is what I really want my fics to be known for, but I need as many readers and supporters as I can get, and if nothing else the sexy parts might actually interest them in the rest of the story…or at least give it a healthy fanbase.

Ja, mata

-Nana 3

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-Oct. 21-

The keys, dangling with various charms based in anime or fashion, were in the ignition. The mirrors were all angled too high. The seat wasn't right.

He didn't have time to adjust any of it. He needed to know what in the hell was going on.

Bankotsu's right foot into the gas pedal and the neon green New Beetle squealed out of its lined parking space. Immediately he was gone and racing along a crowded city street, weaving through the mass of slow-moving cars to elicit a chorus of irked commuter's middle fingers.

Moegi's hazel eyes glared from the passenger seat.

"Your girlfriend just said that she was in the hospital. It can't be that bad if she can talk and everything. Why do we have to go say hi _right now_?" He hit the brake harshly, causing the entire vehicle to lurch forward, not even realizing that luckily they were at an intersection.

"My _girlfriend_?"

It made sense, Jakotsu high on an ungodly amount of hospital morphine, calling their apartment in the equivalent of a drunk dial. "Um…Jakotsu's not…"

There was a long, uncomfortable pause. He wasn't sure if it was caused by the angry drivers staring at him through the windows of a girly Volkswagen still caught at a stoplight, or the fact that he had almost outed Jakotsu to his nine year-old neighbor. "Hello?" She leaned over the console, light brown pigtails hanging annoyingly close to his face. "I said why do we have to say hi right now? Couldn't we wait?"

The light finally turned green and he was racing off again, not thinking about the potential of the police intervening.

"No we can't wait!" He gritted his teeth, repressing a chain of words far too explicit for Moegi's young ears. She didn't seem to notice his courtesy, thinking the last remark over for a moment before asking.

"Why? Is she really pretty or something? And why'd you say your brother's name before?" It was an innocent enough interrogation coming from a kid, but it put Bankotsu on edge somehow, realizing how the whole situation was an accident waiting to happen.

_Is she really pretty? _"She's pretty, yeah," He was answering as quickly as he could. _Why?_ "And because she's so pretty I don't want her to die. People in hospitals die sometimes." _Duh. And why Jakotsu? _"I said my brother's name because he's not here and he likes her a lot so it made me sad there for a second."

"Oh, okay. Where is he?"

"At work!" Bankotsu blurted. He still couldn't believe that Moegi had picked up the phone at the worst time.

He searched the road as the girl in the shotgun seat continued to babble, looking for any sign to point him to the hospital. They were always all over the highway, but everyone assumed the drivers in town would know automatically where it was…

_Damn, __B street__. Is that near it? _He hadn't been a driver long enough to remember. His entire routine had been the commute to school and back. Instinct lead him towards the heart of town, however, and he desperately followed. He was filled with expectedly welcome relief when he finally saw the brick tower jutting off the top of the familiar New Bella North Hospital.

Once the building was close, Bankotsu didn't have to search long to find its massive cement-coated parking garage. He turned the leather-wrap steering wheel, slick with the sweat of his hands, and began the journey upward.

"…now that we're here, can I meet your girlfriend? She sounds kind of nice…" Bankotsu's eyes widened in shock, never mind that he had said barely anything about this 'girlfriend' in the first place, but Moegi wanted to '_meet her_'. There was only one way she could do that, and he wasn't about to let it happen.

After searching in vain for a space he found one on the second floor, pulling in and bringing the Beetle to a stop.

He had to go in alone.

There was no one to leave Moegi with.

Even with the waiting room, she would find _some _way to make the situation worse than it actually was.

_There's always the car…_

_No. Don't you remember that story last week about the little girl who died of heatstroke? Her mother thought she could leave her in a van for five minutes outside of that Safeway…_

His fingers began to tap the steering wheel nervously. Option one: Leave Moegi to potentially die. Option two: …God, there should have been an option two.

He was on the verge of a nervous breakdown when he noticed Moegi waving at someone past him. Dr. Suikotsu was on an ironically unhealthy smoke break, standing outside of the sterile glass-panel doors leading inside.

_Perfect._

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Jakotsu glared in annoyance at Kagome's plastic smile.

"Piss off!" he yelled, "I called _Inuyasha_! I never asked for some damned _woman_!" He was searching for something else to throw at her. He was already down both pillows, an empty Capri Sun pouch and six issues of _Loveless _dounjinshi_. _

"Jakotsu, he really wanted to come see you…but Shippo had a birthday party and-" She was interrupted due to the discovery that the lunch tray was detachable.

He watched as it slid down, leaving her covered with the remnants of a crappy hospital-food omelet, hoping it was the last straw before she gave up and left.

It was. She strode frozenly out of the room, probably looking for a bathroom to wash the eggy mess off of her face. "I hope you…get well soon…"

Jakotsu smiled contentedly, he felt better despite the medicine wearing off. After all, showing the bitch that there was no substitute for 'her' boyfriend was fun in itself, let alone when comical violence got involved.

With the pleasant memory still dancing in his mind, Jakotsu listened to the lullaby of footsteps and worried doctors. He hoped by the time his own nurse came he could be asleep enough to leave alone.

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment!**


	2. Nurse Yura

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **2

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language).

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NO. THING.

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Bankotsu finally found it, room 135, the third Jakotsu had supposedly been moved to. He moved up to it cautiously, peering inside and feeling a shocking wave of relief. Jakotsu was curled up on a bed, resting under pale white sheets on a plastic bedframe.

He took a step inside, noticing an array of errant objects: a few naked pillows, those manga Jakotsu had wanted for his birthday, a similarly upset plastic tray and shiny drink pouch. He had probably given some female doctor a hell of a time trying to get his temperature, he thought with a smile.

The man on the bed looked up, gratefully devoid of any IV drips or brain monitors, gazing at him for a moment before similarly grinning.

"You actually came?" His voice was hoarse. He must have had a killer cold.

"Of course." Bankotsu laughed nervously. "I'm here, right?"

"Right," Jakotsu said, sitting up with a surprising ease. His lower arms were wrapped unexpectedly with what looked like thick gauze sleeves.

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Jakotsu couldn't believe that it was 'right', though. He didn't believe that his fake brother would rush to his side. "I'm so glad you're here. Wanna watch a movie or something? I have TV." He fought the euphoria of the thought, Bankotsu in the chair next to his bed. In the bed with him. Touching his wounded arms.

Bankotsu walked over and sat down in the tan chair.

"Fine, I guess. But what happened to you anyway?" The thrill of his closeness didn't come as Jakotsu raced for an answer.

"An accident. I was at the bar when some drunken idiot dropped a few bottles of Svedka." Bankotsu nodded but looked more worried than he had imagined.

"And you fell on them? Why didn't anybody help you?" The problem with a convincing lie was having to elaborate, so Jakotsu opted for a silent shrug.

"You didn't drag Renkotsu along again, did you?" Jakotsu shook his head. That was a mistake he had made only once.

"Nobody saw me so I called 911 and they sent me an ambulance." Bankotsu had leaned onto the bed so his face was within inches of his.

"I'm so sorry." Jakotsu could smell the ham sandwich Bankotsu always had for lunch when he wasn't there to cook for him. It was the comforting opposite of the tiny, sterile room.

"Give me a hug then?" He prompted, reaching out to him just as the nurse came in.

"Oh wow, a visitor you're not attacking." Both of the men sat straight up as nurse Yura stared sarcastically. Jakotsu redirected his eyes from her near-pornographic miniskirt. She probably thought her shortened uniform looked sexy, and painfully, Bankotsu probably thought so too. She smiled at him despite of…or maybe because of where he was staring, giving Jakotsu a sharp sensation of jealousy. "I'm kind of surprised, that high-school girl almost didn't make it." She was grinning now, making him silently pray, something like _don't tell him don't tell him don't tell him._

Yura, smelling blood, cheerily disobeyed. "You're his brother, right? I just knew his _broooother_ was visiting." Bankotsu hesitantly nodded, most likely thinking she was going to imply he was something more than that. "Well, you're lucky your brother is still alive after nearly getting away with bleeding to death." Despite the 'getting away with' Jakotsu sighed with relief, that still fit into his broken bottle story. Yura came over to the bedside and took the blood pressure monitor from the wall, waving her almost naked ass in Bankotsu's face. Luckily his stare remained on his 'brother's' arms. "Could you help me with this? He doesn't like it when I touch him," She needlessly explained, handing Bankotsu the monitor band as she went to work unwrapping Jakotsu's right forearm.

_Sure, she cares about how I 'don't like it' when it involves a chance to just short of hit on my man. _He was surprised at referencing Bankotsu that way, but hell, it was his mind. He was free to call him whatever he wanted.

"So, your name's Yura?" Bankotsu asked as he stood up from the chair, Yura blushing sickeningly as she leaned over Jakotsu, completely removed bandage in hand. She arose, turning around and showing him the butt the other man had been staring at the whole time. He quietly gagged.

"You read my nametag?" She asked, although it was pretty obvious.

"Um, yeah?" Jakotsu liked how it was a question, which meant Ban-chan wasn't pointing out his watching of her boobs. He was instead suddenly occupied with velcroing the pillowy pseudo-bracelet onto his older 'brother'. "So Yura, what exactly happened to him?"

Jakotsu couldn't believe it. Instead of the slutty _woman_ it was Bankotsu who brought the feared moment to life. "Really," he continued, "didn't anybody notice him before he got all these cuts? Or at least _after_?" Yura's eyes flew to Jakotsu, looking two parts surprised and one part malicious.

"Well, I'm not sure if he told you the whole story…which is really quite common in this sort of situation." _No. _"But he was alone in your apartment when the…incident happened, the only person who 'noticed' him was a friend he afterwards called." Bankotsu looked around in confusion. Jakotsu hid his face in the thinly covered plastic hospital pillow.

"What do you mean?" He couldn't stand the betrayal in Bankotsu's voice. He wanted to die again. At least the nurse cared little enough to get it over with fast.

"The reason your brother almost bled to death was because he was killing himself."

For a nauseating moment the room fell entirely still.

"You did _what_?" Bankotsu's surprisingly shrill voice split the air. Jakotsu was appropriately mad as hell with Yura, but the younger man had worried enough. He leaned back, giving him an impish stare.

"If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that out of you…" But instead of laughing Bankotsu remained persistent.

"You really almost offed yourself."

"Yup." There was nothing more to say, but plenty more he wished he would. _If you cared I'd promise never to try it again… _He kept his eyes trained on Bankotsu, catching a look of shock that normally he would have found sexy. Instead it was the worst kind of painful.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO A STUPIDASS THING LIKE THAT?" Bankotsu's braid whipped out behind him as he leaned forward into the yell. "WHY?" From the way his black eyes scanned the empty space Jakotsu could tell Ban-chan was searching for something to assume. "Is it that waiter from the Spicy Pocky?" The bar's name still made Jakotsu giggle, this time in the form of a silent smile that probably convinced Bankotsu he was right. "Just tell him how you feel already, or for God's sake pick a fight with his boyfriend, don't go slit your wrists in a bathtub!"

Jakotsu wasn't sure if the last part was anger or worry, but either way it made him want Bankotsu there in the bed with him. He impulsively leaned forward, trying to grab a sinewy arm, but Bankotsu had turned to leave, not even giving him dumb Kagome's 'get well soon'.

Yura watched after him in shock, turning to Jakotsu with an unsettlingly human expression.

"I'm sorry, I didn't…" Maybe even she realized she had gone too far. Out of her evil seductress persona she began taking his blood pressure with a face as sad as Bankotsu's had been.

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! I will love you forever and ever~ … **

**Kyora: Screw her, bitches, I'LL love you forever and ever. **

**Me: You're not even in the STORY yet.**

**Kyora: ToT …but in the next chapter… **


	3. Obvious

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **3

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language).

**Disclaimer: **I definitely don't own any of the kotsus, let alone Kyora. For those of you who would remember him from the movie he really does have pink hair, and is oddly ripped for a guy who tells Sesshomaru that they're 'very much alike'…O_o

_Kyora sat cross-legged on the edge of the bed, eyeing the fresh bandages. He was oddly unfazed by the whole story, still wearing the same smile as when he worked at the Spicy Pocky. _That was the 'waiter' Bankotsu had thought he would kill himself over. _Jakotsu watched him, admiring his pinkish-red ponytail through the medicinal fog. The jewel in the middle of his forehead reminded him of Bankotsu's star. _

"_Anyone else you want to call?" In his hand was a shiny orange Blackberry, fresh from Jakotsu's less-than-coherent conversation with Inuyasha. "You've got me and my phone here for another ten minutes, why don't you use it to call someone who'll actually come?"_

_Jakotsu stretched groggily. "And what dream guy would this be?" _Bankotsu, who probably hated him now more than ever before.

"_Bankotsu, silly." He began to type into the keypad, either making the number or texting his boyfriend. "That hottie you live with, the one you always talk about." He whispered confidentially. "The one you tell everyone else is your brother." Jakotsu felt his face cover in natural rouge, hoping Kyora didn't think the 'wrong thing'. _

"_It's not like that!" _That was a classic way to make someone think you were lying, and exactly what happened with the maroon-haired waiter. _Kyora ignored him and held the Blackberry up to Jakotsu's ear, a ring now emanating from the other end of the line. He could hardly think straight, but when a girl's voice answered he was filled with anger. _

"_Hello, Bankotsu and Jakotsu's house!" She sounded happy, too happy, and he didn't want to think about what more than likely caused it. _

"_This is his GIRLFRIEND who's in the HOSPITAL," he slurred slightly, unable to control it like when he was drunk. "Tell him that he needs to get his ass over here…"_

"_My mommy says I shouldn't say 'ass'." She replied. __Yeah, Bankotsu, way to pick a genius to sleep with.__ He thought bitterly that straight men dated for all the right reasons. _

"_Well say it to HIM," he said, "and tell him that I'm in a real world of pain over-" he stopped at the sound of Bankotsu's voice. _

"_What the hell?" _

"_Oo-aniki," He used a nickname from when they were little, the one that always got him. "I'm in the hospital! Please come and say hi to me or something, I'm all alone!" Kyora rolled his eyes. _

"_I'm right here, you know, and I was the one who suggested that you call him…"_

"_I meant," said Bankotsu through the speaker, "what the hell are you doing talking to Moegi like that?" Jakotsu was incredibly peeved at his nerve to care how he talked to anyone, and he wasn't about to let it go unsaid. _

"_Then what the hell…" -The morphine caught up with him in a drowsy pause-"…are YOU doing sleeping with her in our apartment?" Bankotsu howled from the other end of the line, obviously under the impression that his anger was a joke. _

"_Sleeping with her?" He laughed so loudly this time that Kyora heard and skeptically glanced over. "Jakotsu, she's our NEIGHBOUR! She's a KID!" _

"_So why's she there then…?"_

"_Babysitting, Jakotsu, it's how I make the rent!" He heard Moegi in the background now and felt a lot less angry. "So what's wrong, are you hurt? You sound drugged." _

"_I think I am." He lay back and listened as Bankotsu promised over and over again that he would be there right away. _

That was the sound playing in his mind as he lay motionless from the second force-feeding of morphine. Despite his numb body he could feel the warm tears running past his earlobes, disappearing into the sheets that smelled like stale Febreze. What if Bankotsu was across town right now, packing a suitcase and leaving forever? The thought was too much to bear, and through the crystallized tears cracking on the sides of his face he wished that the medicine had knocked him out.

"How long till they let him go?" Bankotsu asked, unprompted.

"Four days, maybe five," Suikotsu said unaffectedly. They were sitting on the red leather couches in the middle of the living room, both aware of the uncomfortable fact that there was only one 'he' Bankotsu would be talking about. "He's very well mentally for what just happened."

Or maybe he was overthinking it. After all, Suikotsu worked at the same hospital Jakotsu was interned at. That was probably the case, he knew because they were discussing a patient.

"You're lucky I was at work today," the doctor said with a smile, twirling the opaque wine in his glass. "And I still can't believe Jakotsu was medicated enough to call himself your girlfriend." There was nothing extra in Suikotsu's voice, no hint that the cross-dresser was revealing anything.

He took another sip of his wine, recalling the story Bankotsu had recounted to him. "I can imagine him telling poor Moegi that, probably thinking she was some conquest of yours instead of a victim of your clueless babysitting."

Bankotsu felt slightly weird that the doctor would know just how Jakotsu thought, weird enough to ignore the friendly 'clueless' jab.

"Did you come up with that yourself or did he tell you?"

Suikotsu was caught off guard. "Tell me?" Pause. "Wait, that's actually what happened?" He laughed for a moment, leaning back into the leather of the sofa. "I must know that guy better than I thought!" He continued to chuckle, inferably because he was drunk, but something in that sentence had really gotten on Bankotsu's nerves.

"It's not that funny," he found himself saying with an unsettling harshness. Suikotsu leaned over to look at him like he had sprouted six arms. "Sorry. Um…I shouldn't be mean and you're drunk and you helped me vacuum up Moegi's animal cracker spill earlier. How's that?"

"I didn't need you to apologize, I was just caught off guard that you were so angry." Even after what was nearly half a bottle of wine, Suikotsu was polite and guarded as ever.

"I should probably go to bed. Getting pissed off over nothing isn't a good sign." Bankotsu stretched, swinging his sock feet over the couch's edge and padding over the shag rug to the bedroom.

Suikotsu was left alone in the quiet living room, fan blades swinging placidly above him. Bankotsu struck him as being out of place in the small apartment, littered with flamboyant furniture such as the zebra-striped rug under his feet. It was all of this flamboyance Jakotsu kept thinly disguised, none of the main-stream manliness Bankotsu tried too hard to exude.

The way the younger boy tolerated a living room worthy of a drag queen sans complaint forced Suikotsu's mind back to precisely what he drank the wine to forget.

Jakotsu, sitting on his desk at the hospital, flooded his memory.

"_Don't you think Bankotsu would be better off without me?" _It was a question that at the time Suikotsu had taken casually. Now it made him feel like the cross-dresser's injuries were his fault.

"_Of course not. No matter what he says we all know he likes you." _

"_The sun really shines out my ass, doesn't it?" Jakotsu asked with an uncharacteristic amount of sarcasm. He leaned backward over the desk, his jeans so tight Suikotsu actually averted his eyes. _

"_You know, there are chairs if you want-"_

"_I like the desk." Suikotsu sighed, gathering his scattered papers from the floor. It was a lost cause trying to get Jakotsu not to do something. His rabid pursuit of Inuyasha was proof enough of that. "I was just saying the problem is that he likes me so much." Jakotsu picked up a pen touting the amazing abilities of NyQuil, fidgeting with it as he continued. "He wants to be straight but I see the way he stares and I wonder if he would put up with me at all if he didn't have the hots for me." Suikotsu shuddered, remembering the same insecurity over Kikyo. He wasn't as intelligent as her, as kind as her, and he certainly didn't have her deadpan sense of calm with his patients. It made him wonder even standing in his office talking to Jakotsu whether Kikyo would stay friends with him if they broke up. "And it doesn't help that he's cute, either. I don't want to take advantage of someone younger and all but look at him! I can't help it if I want to eat him!_

"_I would prefer him if he had breasts," Suikotsu said as an alternative to directly referencing his own straightness. But Jakotsu thought for a moment. _

"_Hey, he doesn't look half bad…" Both of them burst out laughing at the mental image of Bankotsu with D-cups. "Wow, I feel much better," he said after awhile, daintily brushing off the front of his purple shirt. He slid off the desk and made his way to the door, the last time the doctor saw him before he was entered the next day. _

Suikotsu got up off of the couch, setting his glass down on the clear coffee table, before walking over to the bedroom. He peered his head in through the door at Bankotsu, who was lying in a seemingly catatonic state while studying the ceiling. The fact that Jakotsu's absence could do that to him left the doctor curious to know.

"Ban?" He lifted his head, looking over at Suikotsu, who couldn't think of a delicate way to phrase what he was about to say. "Don't take this the wrong way…but are you gay?" The comically large silence that ensued almost made him think Jakotsu had been right. Bankotsu grabbed the bedsheets in fists, eye twitching slightly.

"What did you just say?"

"I think we both know that I asked if you were gay."

"Are you _hitting on me_?" Bankotsu asked, thankfully unaware of who Suikotsu really meant he was attracted to. Sui shook his head, unable to fathom how painful being in love with another man must have been like, and feeling sorry for Jakotsu. Even the way Bankotsu hesitated made who he really liked obvious.

"Must be the wine," He provided, not wanting to hurt Bankotsu's delicate sense of pride. _The things I do for friendship, _he thought as he winked suggestively. He was going to need a strong bath when he got back home.

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! **


	4. Reason

**Disclaimer: **Okay, I've written four chapters that have only covered 1 (soon to be 4) day(s). They are filled with names belonging to Rumiko Takahashi and others, and brands which also belong to someone else who is obviously not me (What time would I have to sit behind a laptop? Think logically here).

So, considering the massive amount of chapters narrating this story is going to require, I will just include a giant disclaimer, complete with copyrights for anyone slightly neurotic, at the very end of the fanfiction. Read: After the last chapter I will put a big, long, boring list of ideas I included that weren't mine. I think that's fair to everyone, especially those getting annoyed by the 'disclaimer' section.

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-Oct. 25-

Jakotsu stood outside the apartment, his favorite Betseyville purse hitting his waist as he searched it for his keys. He saw the wounds running up and down his arms, a reminder that due to his own stupidity he'd probably lost Bankotsu.

_But that's what you wanted, right? _Dual voices were at war in his head, and he knew that the first one was reason.

_No, I wanted him to lose me. I wanted him to find out what happens when you wait to tell someone how you feel. _

_Like you did. _

_Shut the fuck up. _

_When it comes to swearing, you know you're losing an argument…_

He sighed noisily, bringing his racing mind to an unsatisfied halt. He opened the door, taking in the small stone entryway and the open kitchen leading to the living room. As he suspected it was completely empty…he took out his cell phone to find that it was ten in the morning. Wherever Bankotsu was, he was still sleeping.

He wondered who he was sleeping _with_.

He pulled off his Uggs, exposing his feet to the chilly apartment air, flexing his toes as he wondered what to do next. Now that he lived alone.

_No you don't. _

_Yes I do._

_Look in the bedroom. Bankotsu's in there sleeping like an infant._

_Then why is it so quiet? This place isn't quiet unless something's wrong._

Not wanting to prove his rational side right Jakotsu walked into the kitchen, studying the contents of the refrigerator. Its mechanical hum filled the otherwise silent home with sound.

----

Bankotsu woke up to the faint melody of nineties euro-pop. He wondered with a frown whose decision it was, out of the large family in the apartment on the other side of the wall, to buy Moegi her own radio. His discomfort only grew when he realized the lyrics, some woman's incredibly dirty mind set to candy. He lay increasingly still, trying to make out the memories somehow attached to the words.

_I wish that you were my lo-li-pop_

_Sweet things I will never get enough_

_If you show me to the sugar tree_

_Will you give me sodapop for free_

He tried to tune it out, rolling over to face the beige wall. His eyes drifted up to the ceiling, covered in rusty white antique tiles. A red glass chandelier hung down over the bed, catching the light from a high window. He studied it, watching the gleams shift and fade, until the singing stopped.

Then it started again.

Frustrated, he got up out of bed, bending down to search the mess-hidden floor for his cell phone.

_Oh my love, I know you are my candyman and oh my love, your word is my command…_ He knew he had heard it somewhere before, but he couldn't place the memory trying to reattach itself to the song.

He realized as he got closer to the door that it seemed to be coming from behind his bed, the wall leading into the rest of the apartment. He opened the door gently, wary, and peered out into the living room. The sound was clearer there, but still quiet, and he looked around the corner to see Jakotsu standing in the kitchen, leaning back against a counter and sipping Diet Coke between the perverted lyrics.

Jakotsu's eyes were softly closed so he felt oddly voyeuristic, equivocally catching a young woman bathing. He was completely unaware of Bankotsu's watching him, probably the source of that frail hint of shame.

He was wearing a loose purple shirt and tight grey-washed jeans, manicured _pedicured? _feet bare on the teak floor. His beautiful arms were still covered, unabashedly, in the long jagged cuts resulting from some sad mania of which Bankotsu was yet unaware. _A mystery. _And his face, unmistakably Asian, makeup far expert to that of any woman. It reminded Bankotsu of when they were little, living in the large house where every boy was a 'brother', every girl their 'sister'. It was something he remembered in pieces small and flavored like tamari, colored as Jakotsu was sitting with his aunt, being taught how to make his face the image of her own. Bankotsu had seen it from the way his father would pull him by that room on their way downstairs, watch them with something foreign swimming in his eyes.

Tipping back the silver can Jakotsu apparently found that it was empty, and upon lowering it stood staring across at Bankotsu.

"What are you doing here?" _Watching you, sort of. _

"It's my house…and your house too, I mean, I live here."

"I thought you left…you never called the entire time, even after I had Kyora get my phone for me." His eyes were large, gleaming with the start of forbidden tears. "I slept…with that phone right next to my face every night…just like _Ritsuka_." The last word was spat as an accusation Bankotsu didn't understand.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you. I didn't even know you had your phone! I was at school half the time, so it didn't even cross my mind…" Jakotsu looked less murderous now, more on the verge of tears. "…if you wanted to talk to me so much _you_ could have called _me_! You usually have no problem doing that!"

"I know." They were simple words, a short sentence, but one that filled Bankotsu with pain. He stepped forward, aware that Jakotsu would quit restraining himself and smother him while he cried. This was exactly what happened.

"Jachan, get a hold of yourself!" He reprimanded as his nose was crushed against the older man's neck. Jakotsu never occurred to him as being the taller one until they were face to face…so to speak. He needed something to talk about that would make him quit being hysterical, make him focus on something happy, like he usually was. "Hey…what was that you were singing earlier?" Jakotsu laughed a little, choking at the same time.

"About how you're my lollipop, wasn't it obvious?"

"No!...I mean, yeah, the fact that it was dirty was real apparent, but where is that song _from_? I know I heard it somewhere!" Jakotsu stepped back, silent, trying to recall.

"Well, it was really popular in the nineties I believe…my mom said once she saw a whole group of little girls were running down our street singing it. She was scared out of her wit by the 'unnatural American attitude towards overt sexual language'."

"Nope, that's not it. I never heard that one."

"Well maybe it was some time you waited for me outside of the Spicy Pocky or maybe it was one of those parties Kyora had over the holidays or-" his eyes lit up with realization and he got a smile that made Bankotsu wonder who he was going to kill…or rape. "_Naraku's parties_."

Bankotsu remembered hearing about the infamous gatherings at the house of Naraku, the spoiled son of billionaires famous throughout the high school. Now, though, he remembered that he had been a part of them, he had belonged to those rumors and envy. And the song had belonged to Naraku, dressed in a metallic purple bodysuit, falsetto to Juuromaru's drunken shouting.

"That's it." His memory then bombarded him with the night he thought he had been too drunk to remember, puking into the marble toilet as Jakotsu held him up by the braid._ "This is why they don't want freshmen here!" _"Wow, I really couldn't hold my beer, could I?"

"You still can't." Jakotsu was smiling again. _The way it should be. _


	5. Pause

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **5

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language).

**Disclaimer: **Hm…I own nothing~! Mwahahaha.

-Oct. 26-

It was Bankotsu's typical Tuesday scenario: pretending to work on his midterm project for Playwriting while sprawled out on the red leather sofa. The otherworldly large plasma screen displayed the evening news, and he realized that it was almost an hour since Jakotsu had left for work. He tried to distract himself from the thought of his roommate's well-being.

He knew the rubric for the midterm by heart. The gist of it was to write a play of at least 180 pages based on a real person's life-changing experience. However, he had no one to base it on. Maybe a call to Suikotsu would fix that. He dug his cell phone from his deep jeans pocket and found Sui's name with a relative degree of ease.

It was only a matter of two rings before the other end was filled with Suikotsu's voice.

"Hello, this is Doctor-"

"Yeah, Sui, I get it." Bankotsu couldn't help but laugh at his friend's 'serious' tone. "Hey, I'm working on this project about things that have changed people's lives. Could you help out?"

"I'd like to but I'm going to the movies tonight with a friend of mine." It was probably his not-a-girlfriend-Kikyo…

"But I just have to ask you for an idea for a play." Bankotsu pleaded, internally doing the same for a reason to forget Jakotsu and his injuries.

"What do you want to know? It's about changing your life, right? Being a doctor has changed mine, or working with children at that orphanage with Kikyo…"

"How about your schizophrenia? Back before you were on medicine, that must have been interesting." This comment was followed by a pause that, in terms of pregnancy, was at least eight months along. "Um…like when you thought the oven was going to attack you and my mom came in and saved you?"

"Kikyo and I have a movie to see. I'll talk to you later." The line immediately went dead. _Crap. _

-------------------------------

Running a fistful of blazer over his ravaged arms, Jakotsu attempted to fight the itch without exposing the deep cuts to any of the customers.

"Damn stupid itching…" Even though he hadn't lit up since high school he began yearning for a cigarette.

"Are your arms itching, baby?" Kyora asked maternally, leaning over the counter in his spare time. The Spicy Pocky was filled with the thick sound of drunken conversation. "Hehe. Maybe you should go into the bathroom and scratch them then…" he halted for a moment, making it even more obvious that he'd been sampling the liquor. "That sounded dirty, didn't it?" He giggled, pissing Jakotsu off extremely. _Is that how _I_ am half the time? Annoying. No wonder Ban doesn't think of me the right way…_

"It's too bad I need the pay, or I'd go home right now and take a bath…" Then again, the water just made his arms burn. He was beginning to wish Suikotsu hadn't given him a break, he could have been sleeping in some psych ward in the care of a hot soap opera-esque doctor.

"I know how you feel. I'd take a bath too, just with Jura in it." Kyora sighed and stretched, pale wrists escaping from under his blue silk shirt.

--------------------------------

The door opened noisily. Bankotsu sat up in the complete darkness, wondering when he had turned off the TV. He fumbled for a light switch, forgetting what side of the couch he had fallen asleep on, and flipped onto the floor.

Jakotsu laughed from the newfound glow of the entryway.

"Wow. Just…wow." Even though Bankotsu couldn't see him from his position on the floor he knew Jakotsu was smiling, so he was too.

There was the sound of bare feet crossing the floor. It reminded Bankotsu of their odd childhood, the way they had been raised although that house in a hidden acre of New Bella was Japan-a strange, twisted version at least. He wondered what his mother would think if she found out he was living with Jakotsu, even if nothing was going on between them…

He was surprised by a lean pair of hands under his arms, lifting him into the air. He often forgot how much taller Jakotsu was, let along _stronger_. He felt his face growing hot from the unexpected contact.

"God, what the hell do you think you're doing?" He snapped.

"Picking you up. You fell off our sofa the instant I came in. _Baka._" He was set on the ground and stepped back, hoping that his blush wasn't apparent in the half-dark.

"Sorry. You surprised me." He couldn't read whether or not Jakotsu was hurt; he was probably used to that kind of response.

"Okay, whatever." Even though it was dark Bankotsu's roommate had no problem finding the lamp, illuminating the popcorn-littered living room. "Snacking?" He picked a piece of it from the bottom of his pedicured foot.

"Yeah…"

"I'll have to vacuum once I'm out of the bath. Go to bed, 'kay? You look really tired." Jakotsu shot him a serious look and he shivered out of what he hoped was fright.

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! **


	6. No Help

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **6

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language).

**Disclaimer: **Um…someone's naked in this one, but they're not doing anything, so…XD If nakey people annoy you, don't read this?

Jakotsu sank into the burning water, gritting his teeth as it formed itself around the ragged marks on his arms. This was where it had all begun. Tiny trails of faded pink curled up from the bottom of the tub, reminding him that Kyora could only clean it so well. He shuddered violently. He could remember the voice of Isamar Rio, Ban's estranged mother: _A trouble. That child you adopted is an evil little trouble…_seeing this scene she would probably laugh her cruel Spanish-tinged trill. _A trouble._

Fighting the rose-colored whorls Jakotsu grabbed his friend's bottle of Axe, pouring a cup of it into the water and watching it turn a blobbed yellow-green. He could finally breathe out the breath he'd been holding in, and he slid further down, resting with his shiny knees out of the water. It had almost been frightening, remembering what had lead this far. _Hold it together already. Don't you remember high school? That was worse. Fairy this, faggot that. _The voice in the back of his head was right as usual. He shouldn't have been allowing those memories to get to him that morning.

He closed his eyes. The thick fringe of mascara-coated lashes rested on the high points of his cheeks, tickling slightly and distracting him from the sting the body wash was causing his cuts.

"Jakotsu?" the voice came from directly outside of the bathroom door, causing him to sit up, hands slipping over the porcelain sides of the tub.

"What?"

"Have there been any…experiences which have significantly impacted your life?" Jakotsu could tell straightaway that Ban was reading from one of his college assignments.

"Um…I don't know, like how?" His heart began to race nervously, he had a lot of those and he wasn't willing to share hardly any of them.

"You know, like stuff that changed you. Nobody else is helping me with this one." Jakotsu thought for a moment before replying.

"I would say it changed me working at the Spicy Pocky. It's so accepting there."

"Thanks. I'm going to write a play about a gay bar?"

"Well, you asked _me_, what did you expect?" Bankotsu laughed from the other side of the door.

"You're right. My bad. I just...I wish I had something more to work with right now, it needs to be better than everyone else's, you know? It has to stand out." Inwardly proud of Bankotsu's drive to succeed, Jakotsu relaxed again, nodding silently in agreement.

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! **


	7. Memory

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **7

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language)

**Disclaimer: **Hm…there's some funny references in this one^^. Anyone else who completely loves the 4th Inuyasha movie will know that with how short his tunic is Asagi's unfinished comment about Shion is totally validated…

Oct. 27

The ceiling tiled in white-painted tin stared back at him as Bankotsu opened his eyes. The red chandelier Jakotsu had insisted on installing hung dangerously from the raised stucco, crystals gleaming in the morning light.

Bankotsu rolled over in a tangle of teal sheets, trying to face his clock radio that was supposed to have woken him up at eight. It was ten fifteen. He sat up despite the entrapping bedclothes, shaking himself loose before padding across the thick carpet to the smell of McDonald's.

A strange picture met him in the kitchen. Jakotsu was again wearing the blazer he'd let him borrow for work the day before, this time with a long shirt underneath due to Bankotsu's comparatively short arms. He was standing over the stainless steel sink finishing off a large red container of fries while a young blue-haired girl sat at the kitchen island eating a Big Mac straight from the box.

"What's going on? Did you turn my alarm off?" Jakotsu shrugged.

"I think you did actually, it woke me up but you turned it off five minutes into that one annoying song." The girl looked up from eating the oversized burger to smile.

"Hi, Bankotsu! Your brother got me breakfast 'cause you were asleep, lazy." He had forgotten Asagi, the sassier of the apartment's selection of children, and her frequent bouts of feigned illness. "Yeah, so I was sick this morning with a real high fever and my mom took me over here. But I didn't get breakfast until just now." After taking another bite she continued. "He's nice. He said he likes my shirt. It's by Roxy," she added proudly.

"Hey Ban, we got you an egg Mcmuffin for breakfast." Jakotsu said, reaching into a brown bag on the counter. "I remember, you used to eat these all the time back when you were living with that aunt Yun who couldn't cook worth a dang." It was true, if not for his basketball playing Bankotsu probably would have gained at least fifty pounds living with her for his sneaking of extra McDonald's based meals.

"Thanks. I can't believe you remembered that." He grabbed the small carton from Jakotsu's long fingers, sitting down next to Asagi and opening it. He relished its syrupy scent, sweeping his now loose braid back behind his shoulders.

----------------------------

"Come on!" Asagi demanded, holding her block of construction paper under a black colored pencil. "Move so I can't see it, it's disgusting!"

Bankotsu bowed his head in embarrassment, not believing that he had taken a nine year-old with him to his Wednesday course. Namely, this course was Life Drawing, bringing up such comments as the one she subsequently let loose. "I know I've seen Shion's in the tub and everything, but his is so _small _it's barely th-" unable to stand the torture any longer Bankotsu had clamped his hand over her mouth, causing the chorus of fond giggles from the other students to subside. Even his professor, a normally reserved Irishwoman known as Mrs. Maude, seemed to be enjoying Asagi's critique of the model. "You know what?" He ventured, leaving his sketchbook noticeably untouched on the chalky floor, "There's a vending machine out in the hallway." Bankotsu dug in his back pocket, finding his wallet and taking out three dollar bills. "Get yourself some chips or something and don't come in until you've finished them." The entire class let out a collective sigh as the girl, apparently pleased with the offer, walked off through the cloud of artistic dust.

-------------------------------

Bankotsu had taken the car to school, leaving Jakotsu to walk to the local gas station for their latest batch of groceries. He was carrying off one arm a bag containing four liters of Diet Mountain Dew, and for some reason it was giving him a terrible ache.

A bench appeared at his right as he walked through the park on the way back home so he sat, wondering why his arm was suddenly in such awful pain. He dropped the three bags he'd been carrying at the bench's base and tried to assess it, peeling up the sleeve far from caring who saw. It was strange, though, it was a deep and muscular sort of hurt, like a spasm.

It returned to him in an instant that stole the dull near-winter grass, the grey sky and the small-city landscape in a single mental explosion.

_Bikotsu grabbed his arm, pulling him towards some unknown destination…_Jakotsu attempted unsuccessfully to break himself free from the living nightmare.

"_Come now, we've done this before, I promise not to hurt you…" _

A song filled his mind and his eyes once again saw the dead tree in the planter in front of him, dedicated to a girl who'd lost her life to cancer. His breath came in short, hurried bursts, as though the memory still had control over him…"_Yes, anata wa 'un liri blanc y polit, de fragancia rara' idesu yo, ko no bi." _

It had been so long since it had come back to haunt him.

**It's getting a little confusing now…but I do like for my fanfiction to have an actual backbone, an intriguing stand-alone story…by the end all will be resolved and all will make sense. -Nana**

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment!**


	8. Double Focus

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **8

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!!

When Jakotsu entered the apartment and set down the groceries, Asagi was on the floor amidst a large pile of construction paper.

"Oh, hi. I was just drawing this one guy I saw in Bankotsu's life drawing class, which really means making pictures of naked people." She smiled proudly, holding up a sketch of a very obviously male subject. Jakotsu snorted, stifling a deserved laugh.

"Don't show those to your parents, okay?"

"Oh, it's okay. I don't have a dad, it's just my mom." _Divorce, or what?_

"Then don't show them to her." He tried to imagine the woman who hadn't even come inside, letting Asagi run in from a worn red minivan at nine that morning. Something was definitely wrong with her, and she didn't need her nine year-old daughter showing off nude sketches to add to it. "Hey," he asked once he remembered. "where's Bankotsu?"

"He's in the shower," she said. "He couldn't braid his hair right when you were out getting groceries and he was acting really ticked off."

Jakotsu ventured back through the living room and cautiously opened the bedroom door to see Bankotsu fastening the final button on his baggy jeans. The shorter looked up at him in surprise, a delicious red creeping over his beautifully tanned face. He was shirtless, and despite his best intentions Jakotsu let his eyes wander over the exquisite mixed-race skin, a shade he never saw on anyone but Ban.

"Um, hi, Jakotsu, I didn't know you were home," he stammered, stepping backwards over the soft beige carpet with water dripping from his long dark-brown hair.

"You're not asleep on the couch this time, that's great." Jakotsu noted, trying to focus on the cute face as opposed to the alluring body.

"I know, right? And you cleaned up the popcorn this morning, that was really nice of you…"

Jakotsu shut the door behind himself, admiring the way Bankotsu's face changed from surprise to fear. It was all in those deep brown eyes, widening to a point where they took up what seemed like the majority of his face.

"Relax. I just didn't want Asagi to see you shirtless." Bankotsu gave a sigh of relief that completely broke the mood. The fact that he was _that_ afraid of being alone with him in one way or another broke through some invisible boundary between sexiness and outcasting. "I wanted to braid your hair for you, she said you were pissed about it and I realized I didn't help out this morning."

"Okay." Bankotsu slipped on a plain black tee before walking compliantly over to the bed, his hair leaving a dark trail of water behind him. Jakotsu picked up a brush from the bedside table and slipped a ponytail holder over his left wrist, walking around the bed to sit behind him. _A trouble. _He stopped for a moment before crawling over, inching up to Bankotsu's back and running his fingers through the soapy wet hair. It felt like heaven as he followed with the brush, a cold wet trail running down his hands and drenching his sleeves.

"Your hair is really nice today." He provided, and Bankotsu mumbled a thank you as it was quietly braided behind him.

--------------------------------------

Mrs. Kadhohada, a respectable attorney, was on her way to pick up her daughter who had used her bedroom sunlamp to get 'a temperature' yet again. Although Asagi had many friends at school her grades never rose above a steady C, and her admittedly overachieving mother had little success talking to her about anything anymore.

Her minivan rolled to an end across from the apartment building and she turned her keys so the low rumble stopped short, stepping out and admiring the professional sound her heels made against the blacktop. She had a strange feeling about the brothers babysitting her daughter, their odd names and the common last name of _Yamada_ that they always struggled to provide. There was something off that she couldn't quite prove.

She finally stepped over the curb, walking over a small patch of short grass to reach a rectangular sidewalk, the path up to their ground-floor apartment. She immediately rang the doorbell.

--------------------------------------

_Damn. _Suddenly Bankotsu was in a rush, jumping off the bed with Jakotsu close behind. Asagi was still doodling on the floor so he grabbed up all of the incriminating drawings in fistfuls as Jakotsu rushed to find the sweater she'd been wearing that morning.

He was cramming them into the kitchen recycling bin when Asagi walked curiously up to the door, peering through the peephole on her tiptoes before opening it with a grin.

"Hi, mom, I feel much better now," She announced.

"I'm sure you do." Her mother responded coldly, her heels clicking as she walked through the apartment. "Hello, Bankotsu, thank you so much for helping with my daughter again."

"It was nothing," he said, hiking up his pants that had fallen slightly in the frenzy. They exchanged tense smiles before she began to dig in her designer purse.

"I found it!" Jakotsu called from beneath the couch, popping up to hold up a victorious black sweater. Mrs. Kadohada looked up and something like shock crossed her face.

"He's my brother!" Bankotsu rushed to explain, knowing full well that between the bright red lipstick and deadly tight clothes many assumed one of two wrong things.

"I know…I know him." She said. Jakotsu's face soon became similar. She handed Bankotsu a twenty from her wallet before replacing it and walking over to the wild prints of the living room. "You were that kid, weren't you? That one that Ms. Rio was so angry at." Although Bankotsu was facing her back, her severe power haircut, he could read her obvious disdain.

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment!**


	9. Panic

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **9

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **K

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!!

"You still haven't told me what that whole thing was with Asagi's mom."

Jakotsu rolled over, facing the wall as opposed to his worried roommate. "Tell me what it was," Bankotsu pressed, placing a tender hand on the side of Jakotsu's face.

"You know, back when I was eleven. That made you…seven. The trial that put your mom in jail for killing your dad." Instead of bristling and revoking the hand as expected Bankotsu edged closer, his soft face pressing up against Jakotsu's neck. "I remember, she said some pretty scary shit. I think she's insane for saying all that stuff about you." He snickered a little and Jakotsu began to panic inside, wondering what Ban would do if he knew the majority of it had been true. "I mean, you're gay, it doesn't mean you like every single guy on the planet." Even though it was in good sentiment it only made Jakotsu even more tense, scared of the consequence of the trauma that had been lurking beneath the surface for eleven whole years.

"Of course…there's only one I have my eye on at a time."

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment!**


	10. Think About It

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **10

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!!

-Oct. 28-

The side of the bed where Bankotsu had been was still warm as Jakotsu ran his hands over it. His cell phone was ringing from the wicker nightstand, and he slowly flipped to grab it.

"Hello?"

"Jakotsu?"

"Yeah, it's my phone."

"Oh, sorry, you sounded like Bankotsu for a sec there." Kyora giggled from the other phone, making Jakotsu shift nervously.

"What is it?" He looked down at his lap, the Pink lounge pants twisted awkwardly around the bulge the brand wasn't designed for. Even though he was alone he self-consciously pulled down his shirt.

"You're not planning on going back to that hospital, right? Or needing to?" Last night's feeling of uneasiness was back with a vengeance.

"Of course not."

"Well, then, can you come to our party Sunday? It's only our second Halloween at the house without you as our surrogate son and we're really gonna miss you if you're not there." It was also the second time Jakotsu very seriously considered not going, recalling that most of Kyora and Jura's parties were made up entirely of happy couples. It was doubtlessly soon to be the second time he went anyway, dressed as a lonely drunk French maid, waiting until everyone else was too blindly inebriated not to notice that he was making out with someone's cheating boyfriend. "Uh, hellooooooooooooo Jakotsu, will you be there or not?"

"Yeah. Of course I will." Kyora squealed and Jakotsu tiredly shut the phone, wondering how in the hell it got to be as late as Ban's clock was reading. _One in the afternoon. Are you kidding? _He sighed and rolled over, hearing his back popping as he twisted it to the side. It was one hour until Bankotsu got home, three until he had to go to work again. Another afternoon loomed where he would be virtually alone.

---------------------------------------

Finding that the door was locked, Bankotsu nervously wrangled the keys into the doorknob. He stepped inside onto the kitchen's cold stone floor, hearing a distant shower and hoping Jakotsu wasn't using his body wash again. He had found it in the shower that morning congealed around the drain and wondered what exactly he'd done that required that much washing. He didn't want to think about it at all.

He took off his shoes, a pair of sneakers that Jakotsu had gotten him for his last birthday, and crossed the room in sweaty athletic socks. The waterfall noise was coming closer until it abruptly stopped, and closed his eyes, able to hear the dripping as the older exited his shower.

"You didn't use my Axe again, did you?" He called in the direction of the bedroom, by proxy the bath.

"…of course not, that stuff smells like man." Bankotsu sighed and fell into a nearby armchair, facing the red leather sofa now at his right. He heard the bedroom door opening from behind him and looked around until Jakotsu appeared, taking up the space his eyes had been resting on atop the leather, sadly comfortable in just a terry maroon towel. "You didn't wake me up this morning."

"You didn't wake me up yesterday, either." It hadn't been a matter of revenge, just that Jakotsu had looked so innocent and happy when he was sleeping, but he needed a retort once it was mentioned.

"Sorry." He noticed that Jakotsu's hair fell slightly over his shoulders when it was down, dampness forming gleaming pointed ends in the ink-colored mass.

"Oh, it's okay, I didn't mean it like that, just…returning the favor?"

"I was kind of lonely actually. It's nice to have someone there in the morning. Kyora and Jura always left early…" Bankotsu always wondered about Jakotsu's past but never found a reason to ask unless he brought it up.

"Really? I guess they would, if they were teachers." Jakotsu bristled slightly.

"They weren't teachers by the time I moved in. When I first got kicked out of Mom and Sui's I lived in the janitor closet at school, you remember, I talked about that…then I briefly stayed with you and your aunt …and then I met Kyora, who at the time was a college student, and I was fifteen. He always wanted a little brother or something and I was all alone so he let me stay at his place." He yawned and Bankotsu watched the beautiful formation of his unpainted mouth, glistening softly along with the rest of his face, catching the water from his hair. "Anyway. After a few years he got his degree and became a student teacher at the middle school where Jura worked…after only half a year they got caught in the equipment room by a student and both of them got fired. I think Kyora was the only one who got blacklisted because Jura's a gym teacher again at a new school downtown, but Kyora's been a waiter ever since." He blinked, a tinge of orangey red gracing his ivory skin. "Are you looking at my hair? Damn, I should have fixed that."

"…Wow."

"Is it that bad?" Jakotsu flinched back onto the couch.

"I meant that whole story. Some kid caught them in the equipment room?"

"Yeah. J was giving Kyora head too…"

"That kid must be scarred." A faraway look formed in Jakotsu's eyes.

"I should dry my hair and get on some makeup…I have to leave sometime."

"It's only two thirty," Bankotsu provided, but Ja was up from the couch, skin dry enough to sparkle in uneven patches as he walked back to the room.

"Ban, can you…"

"Can I what?" He was glad Jakotsu was out of sight, behind the chair, he could feel the undignified raspberry color he was becoming. Jakotsu was technically naked, there were endless 'can you' possibilities, even if they weren't at all likely.

"Never mind. I'll ask you when you can think about it."

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! **


	11. Costume

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **11

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!! Well, now that I think about it, I own the plot…and it's pretty damned original if I do say so myself. XD I'm such an egotist at heart.

-Oct. 30-

"Hi." Jakotsu's hand drifted down to his face through the moonlight from the bedroom's high windows and grazed Bankotsu's brow. "You awake?"

"Yeah." He had been staying up, waiting to hear what it was Jakotsu had wanted to ask him.

"That's a first this week, isn't it?" A gentle thrill of laughter came from above the bed and Bankotsu grinned through the dark room. Jakotsu's soft footsteps over the berber resonated roughly as he walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down. "So, I wanted to ask you earlier if you wanted to come to Kyora's Halloween party with me." Bankotsu froze, his heart moving up into his throat.

"Really? Of course I'll go with you, I've just been going to Inuyasha's and now that I've been in college for this amount of time it's kind of weird hanging out with all the schoolkids…"

"Um…maybe you don't understand, oo-aniki." Jakotsu crawled over, leaning over him. "First of all I thought you really didn't like Kyora, and second of all…the party is mostly for people who are dating. You know, in relationships. Having sex and lots of it." His eyes penetrated the darkness. "So really, the question is…could you be my fake boyfriend?"

-----------------------------------------

"Yeah, I thought that's what you were asking. As long as we don't have to do it on the sofa in front of everyone to prove it." Jakotsu sat decidedly frozen, wondering what to make of that comment. "Come on, it was a joke. A little kiss on the cheek or whatnot should do it, right? And none of the people there save Kyora will ever see me again?"

"Pretty much."

"Great then. When is it, Sunday? Or is it tomorrow…oh crap, I mean today. I need sleep."

"Yeah, no kidding. I'm gonna go wash my face, okay? Makeup's a bitch to get out of these pillowcases." Shaking slightly from the thermostat's way of dropping five degrees at night, Jakotsu slid off the bed and walked over to the bathroom door. He turned on the light, blinded by the sudden eggshell white that completely overtook his vision.

He stood in the small bathroom, now able to see it, the green-blue tile matching that of the kitchen like ice under his feet. He set his hands on the marble countertop, examining his face in the mirror. He was too pale, devoid of that sandy summer tan Bankotsu managed to wear year round, and the thick kohl around his eyes made him look like a ghost. His hair was shiny as usual, pure black and white, meticulously affixed into three loops.

He ran the water, still able to hear the faint snoring setting in from the bedroom. He grabbed a washcloth from under the sink. _That's it, wash it off gently…_ he shuddered at the remembrance of his aunt's voice, wondering what in the hell that family had been planning for him.

-------------------------------------------

Bankotsu stepped out of the shower, shaking his hair and creating a cold rain that hit the walls and speckled the mirror. He grabbed a fluffy towel off of the brushed-nickel rack and ran it over his body, releasing the smell of soap. He began piecing together his outfit. First came the boxers, then the pants, then his tank top and shirt. _Done. _

He carefully placed the towel back over the rack before turning to the door and opening it to the bedroom.

Jakotsu was sitting on the bed, balancing a tiny bottle of nail polish on the top of his left foot as he painted the toes of the other. The color was a shiny midnight black, which matched his silky shirt and grey-washed jeans. He looked up through his thick raven-toned bangs, narrow eyes blinking unassumingly.

"Oh yeah, you don't have school Saturday. I was wondering why you weren't leaving, or griping about feeling sick at least so they'd let you stay home."

"Yeah, all those times with Asagi left me with no sick days. That's why I had to bring her last time…to my _life drawing class._"

"So, are you ready for tomorrow? I'll pay for a costume since you're the one being nice enough to go for me."

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! **


	12. Pair

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **12

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **K

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!!

Bankotsu came out of the shower for the second time that day, flinging his unbraided hair into a towel. He grabbed another piece of maroon terrycloth, wrapping it around his waist and looking scrupulously into the fogged mirror. He took a step further, resting his palms on the steamy marble counter.

His father, lecher of amazingly varied tastes, had produced him with the help of his Catalonian mother. He could see both staring back at him, even though he barely remembered either of them: his constantly tan skin and straight nose mismatched with wide, upturned eyes and blue-black hair. He fought the sudden urge to punch the mirror, mimic all those stupid dramatic movies Jakotsu watched when he was sad, send them shattering onto the floor. But he had forgotten why he was even angry at them, the father who was dead and the mother who was permanently in prison. There was nothing really left to hate.

"You don't look so good," Jakotsu acknowledged as the bathroom door was closed in leaving. He was lying on the lamplit bed wearing his previously workbound costume change, a black chiffon shirt and leather pants. He was repainting the nails of his right hand, probably damaged in the line of duty.

"You look like a goth." Jakotsu looked up with something he swore was innocent surprise.

"A goth with really good taste, you mean?"

"Yeah. For all the pink you usually wear I don't think you even qualify."

"Thanks." He continued to paint his nails and Bankotsu noticed the careful precision, each layer going on in an undulating shiny stroke. "You just looked sad is all, though, no need to pin it on me that I'm wearing black."

"I'm not sad." It wasn't a lie. He was jealous. He knew that Jakotsu remembered everything about his parents, everything that had happened that had changed them for the rest of their lives whereas all Bankotsu had was a gaping blank memory.

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! **


	13. The Prelude

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **13

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language, sexual themes)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!!

* * *

-Oct. 31-

"Wow, who's _he_?" Hiten asked, mad hatter to Tsusaku's Alice.

"This is Bankotsu, my…" Jakotsu trailed off; about to tell the lie he'd been engendered to reply with ever since Suikotsu's mother adopted him. _My brother. _

"His boyfriend," Bankotsu said, putting an arm around him that made him look down self-consciously, hoping the compression shorts under his maid dress were strong enough to hold in the excitement he was beginning to feel. Bankotsu was so off-limits to him, so young and straight and _forbidden_ that it made the gesture woefully arousing.

"Yeah, isn't he gorgeous?" The arm nearly drew back but Jakotsu held it in place, unable to believe that he was finally attending one of Kyora's parties with a boyfriend, even if it was all pretending.

"Wow, he sure is," Tsusaku said, eyeing Bankotsu up and down and eliciting an angry stare from Hiten.

"He's okay." He conceded, stepping away from the plate-glass front door to let the pair inside.

There was an odd mix of feelings as Jakotsu stepped inside the modern house. Even though he had lived with the Kotsu no Shi 'family' for eleven years; this was the place he had truly grown up. He held Bankotsu's warm body close to him as he studied the shiny hardwood floor, the stripped interior and the abstract paintings Kyora collected. _If I could do it all again I'd be an artist,_ he always said. _I'd make things like that. _

"This place is kind of nice…" Bankotsu noted, and Jakotsu put his own arm around him, reaching his hands up to absently play with Bankotsu's hair.

"What have we here?" Kyora said with a brilliant smile, appearing out of nowhere. "A maid and a pirate, how classic!" Ban squirmed and the taller patted at the back of his head, knowing full well that he had something strong against Kyora. "We have some drinks, we have good music, in about ten minutes we'll start dancing-"

"Where's the beer?" inquired Bankotsu, turning the patting motion into a light slap.

"_Honey_, are you even legal?" Kyora just giggled, leading them towards the steel counter in the back of the open room.

"There's a fridge under here with every drink under the sun. Come on now, Jakkie, everyone deserves a little fun on Halloween." He sidled back around the counter, reaching the entertainment center on the right wall to turn on an iPod-laden speaker. As Bankotsu ducked behind the counter the lights were dimmed and the room became a heavy mix of sounds.

"Could you get me something too?"

---------------------------------------

_Now you're gone…I realize my love for you was strong…and I miss you here, now you're gone…_the thick beat of the base accenting the music made Bankotsu tense. The song was normal, the house was normal…it was beginning to seem like all these _gay_ people were normal. He couldn't deny in his mind that it felt right, Jakotsu leading him awkwardly around the floor, looking through his eyes like someone he'd been longing for for a long time. Blushing strongly, he redirected his gaze towards the unfinished ceiling, studying the rafters instead of his friend's readable eyes.

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! **


	14. Angelus

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **14

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **M (language, sexual themes)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!!

* * *

-Nov. 1-

Jakotsu lay in the dim light, the chandelier shifting dangerously overhead. Bankotsu's typing had halted, leaving him alone in the apartment's tense silence.

The solitude left enough space for Suikotsu's words to come back. _"I didn't let you out early because I 'couldn't fix you', Jakotsu, you have to listen to me. I'm letting you out early because your sadness isn't the problem. It's the symptom." _Jakotsu reached out, tugging over a satiny pillow like it would break him free of the nagging memory. _"The 'problem' is that you think…or, realize that Bankotsu loves you as more than a friend. You're convinced you're confusing him, but does he seem confused? You're the one who's getting confused, Jakotsu, you're having your heart pulled around on a string!" As Suikotsu leaned over his desk his eyes showed frightening remnants of insanity. "You need to resolve it by taking the initiative and telling him how you feel. Quit waiting, set a date or something and make it happen before you're pushed to the brink again." _Tears were beginning to form, seeping into the pillow and awakening the dormant scent of Bankotsu's hair. _"I know you well enough to understand that this is something a shrink couldn't help you get over."_

------------------------------------

The couch completely swallowed his small frame as Bankotsu shifted around, trying to get comfortable. His playwriting project was a complete failure, he was still half-drunk and unable to write anything better than Moegi was capable of. The party was still haunting him as he fell asleep, threatening to turn his dreams into memory-laced nightmares.

_The butterflies in his stomach had begun dropping acid, a perfect mirror of the current song. _In the doorway, boy, she was a lipstick boy…

"_Wasn't the kitchen back there?" _…and tears boy and all in your innerspace boy…

"_That was the bar,_" _Jakotsu explained, bangs falling seductively to his eyebrows. Everything was in a sensual fog as he leaned forward. "I wanted to go to the kitchen with you. So we could be alone." _

_The faded checker-patterned tile stared back at him before Bankotsu's face was tilted upward by forceful hands. "You're so beautiful." _

"_So are you," he found himself admitting before an equally inclined mouth bent him over the counter. He was pinned, breathing hard, knowing that he liked it. Conceding, for all it was worth, that he loved the attention he was getting. He was too far gone to mind the way Jakotsu had aggressively aligned them, the tripping butterflies turning into molten lava in the pit of his stomach. The 'maid' rose up and down, managing to pressure him through the torn cloth pants and pristine black skirt. The beautifully intense friction caused his breath to halt through the kisses, letting himself be ravished by someone he couldn't possibly love. _

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! **


	15. Thank You

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **15

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!!

* * *

The blinds sent dappled light over the stainless-steel sink, the green marble countertop echoing the creamy bands. Turning to the living room Jakotsu took in the morning sparkle, the television screen shining grey, the bookcases with dust floating from the top, the zebra-patterned sofa and its red leather twin that Bankotsu was sleeping on…

He winced, remembering how far he'd gone. He just couldn't resist. _Irresponsible. _That was the word for it, the word for making out with those completely out of reach. It had always been the word for him….

The phone rang, making him jump wildly and run to Bankotsu's side. He picked it gingerly from his pocket, opening it up and whispering in.

"Hello?" He started off towards the porch, sure it was Kyora too lazy to remember _his_ cell number again.

"Yes, this is Asagi's mother. Is this Bankotsu?" He winced.

"He's asleep right now, this is…"

"Jakotsu. I know. I was actually calling for you, I wanted to tell you I was sorry for giving you that dirty look, I just didn't expect you to be so…"

"Normal?" The reputation of working at a gay bar followed him around more than was even remotely right.

"No. _Sane._" _Oh god, that's what it's about. _

"Um, thank you, I guess-"

"Yes, I'm sorry I testified for the Kotsu no Shi on Isamar's behalf, I was paid for it and-"

"Thank you." _Irresponsible. _

The courtroom began to come back, swirling around the corners of his vision. And sitting in the middle of the jury row was the woman he had just thanked, looking at him like he was the most evil creature in the world. ..he had to put the phone back before the nervous shaking started.

Bankotsu's face was gentle like an angel as he exhaled, Jakotsu not wanting to wake him. He put the phone on one of the glass tables, hand trembling with the onset of pure panic.

_Isamar Rio has testified that this young man was having a torrid tryst with her husband…_

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! **


	16. Desperation

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **16

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!!

* * *

Bankotsu woke up to a pair of hands on his shoulders.

"Can I use your laptop?"

"Sure. It's Monday, right?" He looked up to see Jakotsu staring at him with a face full of naked fear.

"Right." The memories returned to him suddenly, the lovechild of dream and reality. _Damn._

"Are you about to email Kyora or something? About what happened last night?"

Jakotsu halted for a moment, stepping backwards; white tank top loose over his lean, scarred arms.

"What happened?" The fear was now more than naked, it was stripped of its skin, Jakotsu was visibly terrified. "Did I get wasted and do something stupid? I didn't molest you or something, did I?"

"You don't remember?" There was too much hesitation.

"No…"

"Really? Um…" He searched for a lie, something to fill the void reaching between them. "You hit on Hiten pretty badly and it sort of upset me because…you know, I was your fake boyfriend and you were…fake cheating?"

"Oh, that. Okay." His crystal voice filled with relief but still it was apparent that something was bothering him.

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! **


	17. Click

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **17

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!!

* * *

_Only six years old. That's how old he was. It wasn't a bad age to learn a little bit about the world. But he was walking through the house of the Yakuza branch known as the Kotsu no Shi. Renkotsu saw something he never forgot…_Jakotsu minimized the window, unable to take it anymore. He scrolled back to the top of the page, aware that he wasn't the world's best writer, wondering what to make as the password. _Password. Of course. It's the standard. _No one was actually going to look at it…he did a double-take, making sure that Moegi wasn't about to burst into the room, pulling the laptop close as he reread the start of his confessional.

----------------------------

"Does your brother want some of the pizza?" Moegi asked as she bit into the Margherita flatbread, part of the haul Jakotsu had brought back a few days ago from the gas station.

"I think he's busy…" the laptop's flat keys could be heard even in the kitchen, a mad rhythm of typing that filled the entire apartment over the monotonous heating vents. Ever since that morning Jakotsu had been writing something that was evidently for his eyes only, some sort of masterpiece from the amount of time it was consuming.

"Oh. Is he making a story?"

Bankotsu hadn't even really thought of it before, but more than likely it actually was some kind of story. It dawned upon him that maybe it was about what happened last night…_I have to see it._

"Jakotsu, wanna come to the table and have a little something to eat?" He had never had much of an appetite, but it was as good of a ploy as any to get him away from that computer…when no answer returned to him he went over to the bedroom, venturing inside to see Jakotsu closely guarding his computer. "I said, do you want to eat something?"

"Um…I'm not hungry, actually, as of now I was just looking at my email…" he opened the screen to show a message from Kyora, making Bankotsu lean in further to inspect it.

"What's that?"

"Well, I was going to wait to tell you, but Kyora invited me to come with him to his aunt's house down in Texas for a few weeks before Thanksgiving…"

"What," said Bankotsu, "you want me to be your fake boyfriend again?"

"No! God, I just wanted you to take a little time off from your college stuff for some reason other than babysitting…I have enough vacation time if you wanted to join me, if not maybe I'll just stay back home." Last night's fluttering feeling returned and Bankotsu wondered what all he had said.

--------------------------------

With a long relieved breath Jakotsu reopened the document, patiently waiting as Ban left the room.


	18. A Way Out

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **18

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!!

* * *

Even after Moegi left Jakotsu still had yet to finish his typing extravaganza, having relocated to the zebra-patterned rug with his back arched against the base of a couch. His nails, now an interesting shade of orange, glinted varied colors as the images on the TV shifted. Bankotsu stepped closer, noticing the look of intense concentration; the unblinking near-black eyes that scanned over the screen like miniature predators. He found himself thinking again about the Halloween party. His half-assed attempts at stopping the inevitable were unsurprisingly unsuccessful. Watching the secondary mouth in question bite down on its lower lip as the keys continued to sound made him almost wish it hadn't ended. He was starting to think of methods, ways it didn't _have_ to end.

The only way out of it was to get drunk again.

"Hey, Jakotsu," the other's eyes looked up at him like charcoal pearls. "Wanna watch a movie? I could do pay per view." Jakotsu's hands slid stealthily over the laptop, shutting it with a quiet click.

"What movie?"

"Um…I don't know actually, is there anything you want to see?" Jakotsu's expression flattened slightly, seeming to calculate a vested interest…or, as it turned, which of his latest delivered anime took priority. He reopened the laptop, shutting it down before gingerly setting it on the couch; and walked over to the fireplace-surrounding bookshelves, searching the lower right for an unwatched disc.

"Hm…there's my friend's scans of _Ze_, you don't want to see that…there's _Loveless_, I have…ah! _Fake_! I haven't seen these yet!" He looked at the barely-readable analogue above the fireplace, determining that they had enough time to watch two episodes before he had to leave for work.

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! **


	19. Regret This

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **19

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!!

* * *

As Bankotsu poured the wine into the patterned glasses Jakotsu tried to maintain a face of reasonable skepticism.

"I thought you didn't like wine, too grapey."

"I never said that. It was the last thing in the fridge anyway, other than some really old Bud." He handed Jakotsu a glass and proceeded to take a sip that was really closer to a chug, causing Jakotsu to shy away in remembrance of what happened the last time the younger had been drinking.

He stared into his glass, watching his maroon reflection. He felt the couch give as Bankotsu leant over to grab the remote, starting the disc on its whirring rotation inside the DVD player.

_In the 27__th__ precinct of New York City, America…_

--------------------------

Bankotsu watched with intrigue as the long kiss commenced onscreen. He couldn't wait any longer.

"We should do that!" He blurted.

"…wait, do what?" Jakotsu knew. He could tell he knew. But he was pale, shaking, tiny droplets of wine falling onto his jeans.

"Jakotsu, I did something stupid last night but I think I actually liked it. You might have feelings for Inuyasha, or Kyora for all I care, but for one second forget about them!"

Jakotsu's eyes fell, his lips trembling gently. "Listen to me. _You _didn't do anything. The thing is, Inuyasha's just one of my fantasies and Kyora is like my _mom_, but you're the one person I'm perverted enough to start something with." He looked up suddenly. "It's like your mother said. I'm a trouble." Bankotsu couldn't resist, those eyes, the perfect angry fairytale moment. He kneed his way across the leather, resting his arms on the taller's shoulders and leaning forward. "You'll regret this when you're older," Jakotsu warned, meeting their lips, eyes so close they were dancing blurs.

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! **


	20. CATALYST

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **20

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **M (sexual themes…suspense…hehehe…)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!! Except for these damned pervy thoughts, but you KNOW this is what you thought of too when you were watching (slash reading) the shichinintai episodes!

P.S. If there's a slight change in style here don't worry too much about it…it's been a long time since I've worked on this so if anything it's probably better than the last 19 chapters…or not… T.T

* * *

Bankotsu's breath caught dead in his throat as he hit the bed, not believing who was shoving him down. This wasn't what he'd planned for the night, this wasn't what he'd planned for his _life_, it was just an unexpected twist in a long and usually much more dormant ambiguity. Looking back he had always stared at Jakotsu for a little too long, maybe his long-gone friends from freshman year had been right…

Now, however, he definitely had the last laugh as he was looking at him in a much closer proximity and _damn_ was he beautiful. Jakotsu's eyes, what his father had prided throughout the family as the perfect almond shape, were staring at him with an unreadable intensity as trails of unusually cold sweat bridged the gap between their faces.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, sounding uncharacteristically nervous. Needless to say he also knew where 'this' was going.

"What do you mean am I sure?" Bankotsu demanded, staring up through the blue-tinged darkness to study the tattoo pattern on Jakotsu's shirt. He was wondering why he would even ask that after having forgone work entirely to end up in this position. "Isn't this just like that _yaoi_ stuff we just watched?"

----------------------------------------------------

Jakotsu hoped his mix of frustration and amusement wasn't apparent as he remembered the prior hours he'd conveniently filed to the very back of his mind. Giving into his roommate's begging in what would usually be a fantasy situation, _I want to watch this _and _Is this one any good? _. Sitting on the couch, burying his face in the armrest and trying not to hear the soundtrack that was making him painfully aroused, wondering what in the hell Bankotsu was thinking as he watched it. Disc after disc.

"Yeah, I guess it is." He smiled weakly and wrapped his scar-laden arms around the back of Bankotsu's head, feeling the knotty lumps produced by the braid. He leaned down, watching as the eyes beneath him closed in anticipation. His lips grazed the other's, coaxing them, his mind racing with how this was nothing like a yaoi. Yaoi followed an almost unbreakable formula. There was the confession, the initial rejection and then ultimately the all-out, no-regrets sex. They would make out. The seme would give his new uke a semi-decent blowjob before giving it to him rougher than was ever realistic. And then, they'd be together forever. Just…'happily ever after'. Never mind the way the _real _world looked at _real _gays. There were no crying mothers and no disgusted friends. Just sex before love.

"Nn…" He focused suddenly on the lack of expertise Bankotsu had with his tongue, twirling it around the one invading his mouth like it was a pirouetting ballerina. There was no focus, no depth, just a constant movement like that of a washing machine. Nonetheless, the now growing noise proved, it was good enough for Bankotsu. _I wonder what it feels like, being that much of a virgin…_ had he ever known?

He admired the glistening string of spit dangling between their mouths as his novice friend pulled away, looking at him with an obvious need for approval.

"That was so _sexy_," he provided, grinning in his most lustful manner as Bankotsu shivered lightly from his words. He was always readable, but this was a whole new level of transparency…Jakotsu suddenly wanted to see every heightened reaction, every pornographic exaggeration of lovemaking his counterpart had to offer. _Maybe this was what Bikotsu saw when his little Liri made all of those sounds…_

Pushing the unwelcome thought to the side he dipped his head, breathing in the scent of the Axe that pooled in the hollow of Bankotsu's collarbone when he took a shower. He knew that the only expectations Ban could possibly have came from those stupid anime they'd just watched, so he'd be satisfied with even the most cliché procedure…at least that was a bit of a relief, something to distract him from the fact that this was different from casual _anything_, this was something he would wake up to and then continue living with just like he had done before.

He flicked his tongue out, quick and fluid, touching down on glistening skin. Retracting it into his mouth he tasted the salt of Bankotsu's sweat. He looked ahead, hands occupying the tiny space between them to lift the grey-striped tee shirt and open up more potential real estate. He lowered his left arm, palm against the warm flesh of a chest, gently raking his neon orange nails in a curve down to Bankotsu's stomach. He was rewarded with a full-out moan that made him shiver with imagination. Lying on top of the college student he could easily gauge the hardness encroaching upon his abdomen, and he could tell he had done his job as a loyal provocateur.

_This is it, just going through the motions. Even though next he'll leave me…it would have left me feeling worse to deny him, right? _He slid slowly more and more off of the bed, licked his way down towards his final target, wishing he could see the thick blush doubtlessly embedded on Bankotsu's face. He had always wondered what it would be like to cause it…knowing how it always impressed the first few times he clasped his teeth around the denim of the younger's jeans, hearing the barely audible _pop_ of the button escaping its cloth holds. He pulled the left side down tantalizingly slow, hearing breaths that effortlessly portrayed anticipation. He wondered if Bankotsu had ever done anything like this, even with a girl, and for some reason greatly doubted it.

His hand followed with the right side of the jeans, causing the blue-black fabric to pool in large folds midway between thighs and groin. Humming idly to himself without fully realizing it, he cupped the form underneath the thin y-front briefs, rubbing the tip of his thumb over the bulging member. _I did this to him…_

…_You did this to me, you little bitch, so make it go away! _

----------------------------------------------------

His eyes opened slowly, warily, as the ecstasy of anticipation ebbed. Jakotsu hovered over him, looking slightly dead, having stopped completely in a matter of moments. Maybe this was a way of torturing him, maybe he was into that sort of thing…

"Hey…um…" He was shocked at how rough his voice was, how obvious it made it that he was completely turned on. It was more than a little bit embarrassing, actually. "Are we gonna continue?"

Suddenly Jakotsu snapped to attention, his wavering left arm proof of his awkward position half on and half off the bed.

"Oh God, I'm sorry…I just remembered something…"

"Is it important?"

Jakotsu hesitated before shaking his head, hair glowing in the pale curtain-faded moonlight.

"It's nothing, I swear. I didn't mean to stop like that, I'll make it up to you." It was funny how he could say it with a straight face, without a hint of trying to be seductive, like this was something completely simple.

"It's okay. It's actually kind of hot, making me wait like that."

"You won't... you really won't think that in the morning." His roommate said through the oddly charged air, grabbing his knees and sliding off the bed entirely, coming to rest in a kneeling position. He snaked his slender neck so his face reappeared in the gap between Bankotsu's pants and his arousal, not even bothering starting in with his hands this time.

Bankotsu propped himself up on his elbows, trying to get a good view as Jakotsu's teeth scratched along his bare stomach. He gasped, biting his lip as they hit the beginning of his underwear, the friction from the point of his friend's slightly weak chin almost too much to endure.

-------------------------------------------------------

_He's struggling…that pause made it difficult for him, _Jakotsu noted guiltily as he eyed the young man's upward cock for the first time. Having seen more of the same specimen than he even wanted to admit to himself, he easily went over its statistics in his mind as he leaned in to gently attack it.

_Moderate length. Maybe eight or nine inches, not terribly bad. _He surrounded the tip with saliva, the unabashedly human taste of precum coating his tongue. _Rather thick though…it's not going to be easy to take it either way. _He opened his mouth as widely as he could, tendons at the back of his jaw aching in protest as he slowly slid over the length.

Jakotsu had always recognized having someone's dick in his mouth as one of the strangest, sometimes most unpleasant experiences of life. The skin was so undeniably different, pressed tight like velour over unrelenting steel. It was the knowledge that he was giving its owner an amazing amount of pleasure that made it bearable. Closing his eyes he angled his neck for deep-throating, he imagined Bankotsu's face through the heated groans.

_I can't believe that managed to sneak up on me, _he thought to the side, painfully aware of the remembrance still resonating in his mind. _This is different…_it was different, slightly, but all the while the same. His past and present were slowly colliding, and if the endings were the same this would be a terrible catalyst.

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! **

**P.S. For anyone who's interested, once I'm done with this I'm going to be posting another IY fanfic…I sort of got started already but I don't want to be actively 'working on' more than one at once…it gets confusing. ^^'**


	21. The First Tuesday

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **21

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **M (sexual themes…sexual memories…but this time, no actual sex…what a shame.)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!!

* * *

-Nov. 2-

In one moment, Jakotsu was a body entangled in a soft teal comforter.

In the next, Bankotsu was screaming his name as he came violently, his entire body convulsing with pleasure.

He was living in two separate worlds as Bankotsu's lips fluttered softly over his bare shoulder.

"Mm." He sat up, the beige walls of the bedroom blurring and fading as he adjusted his eyes. He wondered what time it was, depending on the day of the week, the week itself, even the month, the time of the courses at the University of New Bella were hectically different.

It struck him that he hardly knew any information at all concerning Bankotsu's classes: all he was truly sure of was that he was majoring in playwriting and 2D art…

"The first Tuesday in November," Bankotsu stated in an answer to his musings. "'Campus improvement'. I don't even have to be there, thank god I'm not in the Murals club or I'd be painting all day…"

Jakotsu whined and turned over, not realizing that this would put them face to face. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing." He smiled vaguely, unsure of how to take the whole situation. He was relieved that Bankotsu wasn't looking at him in disgust after how he'd given in, on the other hand he almost felt disappointed that his warnings were turning out not to be vindicated.

In any case he was here, in the bedroom, trapped by the covers and their heat.

"Do you want some breakfast?" Jakotsu's mind went over every aspect of the offer, not realizing he had suddenly gained a penchant for overthinking things. _…I've never even been a breakfast person, but maybe he forgot that…he sometimes offers me breakfast but it's usually the other way around and this probably means that he's just doing this because I 'helped him out' last night…God, I'm really a terrible person. _

"I'm fine. I just need some Diet Coke or something to get me started."

"Oh, okay. I'm just going to walk down to Starbucks then." It was at once annoying and intriguing how Bankotsu seemed to be able to anticipate his needs. Their favorite coffee shop was almost on the other side of town because theirs was a community of apartments and gas stations; it would be at least an hour and a half before he came back, even if he didn't sit inside.

Bankotsu lifted the covers and stood up, stretching, his skin dappled with morning light from the high bedroom windows. He was still completely naked, the hollow of his strong back marked with divots indicating his backbones. "I really just need to walk, I think. Ever since I graduated I haven't been on a team and I just feel so _inactive_."

_Not after last night, I bet you don't…_he wanted to say it, _needed_ to say it, but instead Jakotsu lay there in silence, close to literally biting his tongue.

**What did you think? Comment, comment, comment! **


	22. Absent and Cold

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **22

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!!

* * *

_It was a normal October day. Jakotsu sat on the kitchen stool, spooning his way through a container of Yoplait. It was another useless afternoon, the kind in which he began wondering what Bankotsu was doing at the University of New Bella that could possibly be so good for him anyway. His roommate's forgotten phone rang from the couch and he abandoned his yogurt to investigate, wondering if it was a call from one of the damned girls at the college Bankotsu was always going on about. _

_The caller had no name, apparently, so he curiously opened the phone. _

"_Hi." _

"_Hello, is this Bankotsu?" The woman had an odd, strangely familiar accent, thickly wrapping itself around the lack of an introduction. _

"_No, actually this is Jakotsu…Yamada." He remembered their previously decided last name. "Who's calling?"_

"_Jakotsu." The woman was milliseconds from cutting him off. "You evil little bitch." The aforementioned Jakotsu fell backward onto the couch in shock, wondering why whatever God there was picked him as a sudden punching bag. _

"_Yes?" _

"_You're the reason I can only call my son once a month from THE WOMAN'S STATE PENITENTIARY!!!" He recognized her now: Isamar Rio, quite possibly the reason he had such a visible chip on his shoulder over the opposite sex. Née Bankotsu's mother…_

"_I'm sorry. Really…" _You're the one that came in and killed him. _"…but you're the one that came in and killed him, not me."_

"_What would you do if you saw your husband bedding the family _boy-whore_?" Miraculously trapped, feeling unable to just hang up the phone, Jakotsu listened to every word before walking shakily into the kitchen to grab the largest knife he could find. _

Hearing his cell ringing from its place on the nightstand Jakotsu hit the knob above the tub as hard as he could manage, stopping the icy flow of water; his plan for coping with the unfairly erotic thoughts he was having. He ran out of the bathroom, not bothering to grab a towel as he was completely sure of his aloneness, proud that the cold shower had actually worked in shocking his manhood to submission.

"Hello?" He hadn't bothered to check the Caller ID, the only people who had his number were the only ones he ever wanted calling him.

"Ah, the one who played hooky yesterday~" Kyora crooned as Jakotsu noticed how uncomfortable the bedroom's berber tile was against his wet feet.

"Yeah, sorry if you had to fill in as a bartend."

"Oh, it's just fine, Hiten really liked the job I did. He made me the permanent stand-in for when you're absent." A long pause. "Oh shit, I just said absent, didn't I? Don't forget I used to be a teacher, right? Like you could." Despite his laughter this was definitely the pink-haired waiter's way of beating himself up, reminding himself of the mistake he had made with Jura however many years ago it was. "Anyway, when you called in you sounded quite _excited _about something. Any particular reason?"

Jakotsu winced. He had forgotten the detail of when he told Hiten he was out sick. Bankotsu had been directly on top of him, sucking his neck relentlessly, and although he wasn't even skilled enough to leave a proper mark it had still been quite an impediment on his speech.

"You pervert. Who do _I_ have to do that sort of thing with?"

"Mm…I have a few answers but they might piss you off…"

"Whatever. Did you have something to tell me or did you just call to ask me that? Because I'm sort of halfway through a shower."

"Oh. I had no idea," Kyora admitted with a girlish laugh. "I can let you get back to that then."

"There was nothing else you wanted to talk to me about."

"Nope. Not at all."

Jakotsu sighed, closing the phone and setting it back down on the wicker nightstand, walking back across the room to the still-open bathroom door.

The tub, a sort of time-and-dirt-faded white, looked back at him as he crossed the tile to reach it. He pulled mercilessly at the knob controlling the water flow, hitting his downturned back with a barrage of hard water.

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	23. Coffee

**Fanfiction: **The Denial

**Chapter: **23

**Rated: **M

**This chapter: **T (language)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. NOTHING!!!

* * *

Bankotsu's ass made quick contact with the woodchip-covered dirt behind a large evergreen bush. According to the iPhone Jakotsu had gotten him over the summer it was just after eleven, long before he thought he'd be back.

The tree to his right cast a long shadow over him as he sat in the foliage of the 'park' between the block of the 7-11 and that of their apartment, really just a large grassy space cut by far too many sidewalks and shrubbery to count for much of anything.

He could have chosen one of the three or four benches in the area, but for some unknown reason he was feeling paranoid. It was like he was incredibly visible. _Too visible. _He needed someplace private before returning back to slowly confront what he'd forced to happen.

…the can chilling his left hand contained a doubleshot energy coffee in vanilla for his roommate waiting at home, and he half considered drinking it, knowing that his bitter black venti was long gone and Jakotsu would never know the difference. Instead he tried to practice patience, looking up at what he could see of the sky beyond the leaves.

He noted the way his sunglasses tinged the sky a mellow orange, and it struck him like a runaway trailer that he missed the life he had in high school. Then the sunglasses had a purpose: _to protect your cute face from the wind. Come on, wear them…Ban, they're Dolce and Gabbana, do you know how much those were? _He shook his head, almost reliving the moment. _Almost three hundred dollars! _It was a time when he was fourteen.

"_Ban." Bankotsu looked up at Jakotsu's almost dominant expression, then eyed the glittering black motorcycle. "I'm not getting on unless you get on with me." He was hesitant to be that close to him, mostly for what his friends at the school awaiting them at the end of the ride would say. "I just turned eighteen…I just got my license for this thing…now all I need is a sexy man to show it off with!" He walked straight up to Bankotsu then, ruffling his braided hair before pulling him submissively towards their ride. _It was a time when Jakotsu flirted with him almost mercilessly, even if it meant nothing…

_Maybe he stopped once it would have meant something. _

It was a time when they partied, not worrying about what would happen if they both got a little too smashed. _"So you two knew each other even when you were little kids?" A girl from the middle school, an odd interloper at one of Naraku's famous summer parties, sat with a completely untouched beer sweating in her hand. _

"_Yeah," said Bankotsu, noticing with irritation the way Ja was moving further and further away from them. "Is that weird?"_

"_No, it's just cool that you found each other again at New Bella High. He's a senior and you're a freshman so this was like the last chance you two even had to be friends again, right?" _

_Bankotsu had never thought about it, but she was probably right. If the school hadn't been part of the equation they never would have seen each other again…he would have missed out on someone who was as close to him as a brother. _

"Baka! Ban-teme_, quit puking already…" He didn't care how harshly he was getting reprimanded, he deserved it. After watching Jakotsu relentlessly hit on the young girl's boyfriend, whose name was apparently Inuyasha, he had found the everclear and tried to erase the entire situation from his mind. That was going to be one of his classmates after just one more month of summer…_

"_Naa, Ban-kun, nani shi masu ka_?"

Bankotsu struggled through his surprise to try and remember what the jumble of sounds meant. He had been around people speaking Japanese for all of his life, but for some reason all he seemed to remember were titles and swear words. "That means what are you doing." Sango, a language student who was minoring in film, was leaning over the bush separating him and the sidewalk. "I always think you're so lucky, having had a real Japanese family, but did you even know what I said before I told you?" She smiled and shook her head. "I like your brother better, even if he only ever sits and glares, I think he understands what I'm saying." Standing back so he could see her much less clearly, disappearing until it was just the top of her dark brunette hair over the green foliage, she continued. "So what _are _you doing back there? Nothing?"

Realizing that it was probably late enough to go back to the apartment by then, Bankotsu sat up, rubbing at the seat of his pants to rid it of the soil.

"Aren't you supposed to be painting the university right now?" He asked, looking over at her, noticing her orange-red trenchcoat adorned with four large buttons.

"Eh…I'm not in the mural club, it's your playwriting class I'm in, remember?" She shook her head suddenly. "I'm sorry, I actually worked with them a few times, that's probably what you're thinking about. My fiancée has an ex working in it who got pregnant by him and got her life screwed up…we try to help her out."

_Miroku's her fiancée now? _Bankotsu felt horribly out of the loop, giving her a questioning stare that she didn't seem to catch on to.

"That's nice. I didn't know he was that responsible." She laughed.

"_He _isn't." Her red eyeliner rimmed a sudden interest in the can Bankotsu was holding. "…hey, is that Starbucks? God, I haven't had that in so long."

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